{"id":1387,"date":"2016-05-18T18:41:37","date_gmt":"2016-05-18T23:41:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/?p=1387"},"modified":"2024-07-14T19:47:33","modified_gmt":"2024-07-15T00:47:33","slug":"steve-crowley-secret-townie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/?p=1387","title":{"rendered":"Steve Crowley, Secret Townie."},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Hartsville, South Carolina.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0What a great place to live, work, and volunteer. \u00a0And we here at the Only Funny To Us Podcast pride ourselves on being a community-minded group of people, volunteering and helping out whenever and wherever we can. We\u2019re glad to do it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, all of us except Steve. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

As anyone who has listened to the podcast knows, Steve doesn\u2019t much like people. \u00a0He barely likes us. \u00a0He doesn\u2019t like town functions (led by people he refers to as \u201ctownies\u201d). \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

He also doesn\u2019t like helping.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anyone. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Ever. <\/strong><\/p>\n

He barely helps himself. \u00a0He does, however, make rare exceptions\u2026sort of.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Here\u2019s an example. \u00a0TJ\u2019s brother, also named Steve, was moving. \u00a0TJ asked Steve Crowley for help. \u00a0No, I don\u2019t know what was wrong with TJ or why he would do that. Reluctantly, our Steve agreed to help. \u00a0Not the best idea. As TJ tells it, \u201cHe moved a couch pillow, and maybe a house plant. \u00a0Then, he disappeared<\/em>.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

We think you get the idea.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 Now, imagine, if you will, our surprise when some startling information came our way this week from our crack team of researchers, led by local historian and all around good guy, John Specht. He creatively acquired a long forgotten newspaper article along with some damning photographs
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

We now have proof that Steve Crowley has been a secret \u201ctownie\u201d all along!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"image00\"<\/a>

Click to enlarge, read, and be outraged.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

Take a minute. Breathe. Read it again.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

A couple of quotes from the article stand out.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cCrowley volunteers\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Crowley\u2026volunteers?? \u00a0What the hell? \u00a0We didn\u2019t think he had ever volunteered for anything in his life! But, here it is, in black & white. \u00a0Keith and Jane Crowley\u2019s baby boy\u2026volunteering! (Also note, neither his maid, nor butler appear in any of the photos)
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI enjoy working with the women at the chamber\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

This, is no surprise. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 Steve is 44. And at the age of 44, he seems to spend an inordinate amount of time at his mother\u2019s retirement home. Why you may ask? \u00a0Well, no one has ever been 100% sure. \u00a0We\u2019ve only had theories. \u00a0And one of those theories was that Steve loves<\/span> <\/em>the older ladies. \u00a0And this article seems to confirm that. \u00a0So, 44 years old now and hanging with a bunch of 70-80 year olds.\u00a0 Fifteen then\u2026hmm\u2026yeah.\u00a0 We could see him putting the moves on the 30-40 year old desperate housewives at the Chamber. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Now, we know what you may be thinking. \u00a0\u201cHe only folded newspapers. \u00a0That\u2019s not that difficult.\u201d \u00a0And, you\u2019d be correct. \u00a0If that was all there was, we may have just left it alone. \u00a0But then, another couple of pictures came our way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"image01\"<\/a> \"image02\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Steve Crowley on a ladder!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Steve Crowley on a ladder, WORKING<\/span>!<\/strong><\/p>\n

We were shocked. \u00a0We\u2019re still shocked. \u00a0Look at him. Up on a ladder, like a little ginger Bob Villa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We still wonder if he went to that Coffee Club meeting he’s spelling out in the photo. Perhaps that’s where his java obsession began. They say your later sexual proclivities are formed during puberty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0What have we learned from all of this? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 Personally, we know not to bother asking Steve to do anything, but now we see the reasons. It can only be said that not only is he lazy, but he cannot function without the direct supervision of a matronly woman nearly twice his age spurring him on. In the future, if the OFTU Podcast is to survive, TJ will either have to remarry a much older woman, or continue his tradition for wearing lady’s clothes and acting like Steve’s mother.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Co-authored by Ben Quick and Clif Wilson, who always wanted to be authors. Sadly, this is the result of all those efforts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Hartsville, South Carolina. \u00a0What a great place to live, work, and volunteer. \u00a0And we here at the Only Funny To Us Podcast pride ourselves on being a community-minded group of people, volunteering and helping out whenever and wherever we can. We\u2019re glad to do it. Well, all of us except Steve. \u00a0 As anyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1393,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast-episode"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/onlyfunnytous.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/centennial_park_hartsville.jpg?fit=500%2C225&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1387"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1394,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387\/revisions\/1394"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlyfunnytous.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}